Friday, March 26, 2010

Two More Songs - Me



So here are two of the songs I've been working on. I've been writing way more then I've been posting so you'll probably see a couple over the next week or so. Hope that isn't too disappointing. :-)

When it was Impossible

He’d never really known her well although he’d known her long
Maybe he’d thought of her more than once or maybe I am wrong
He’d swear it wasn’t jealousy that made him doubt her choice
Maybe it was the way he smiled or maybe his quiet voice

He didn’t think that man was the one but he might convert
He told the truth when he told himself he didn’t want her hurt
It grew on him so gradually until he thought it true
He was finally at ease to be the man she never knew

That man didn’t turn wicked like at first he might have thought
It bruised but didn’t break her heart like it would if she’d been caught
Although he might not have cared for her once upon a time
He realized now he’d seen her fall he was ready for the climb

She’d never really known him well although she’d known him long
Maybe she’d thought of him more than once or maybe I am wrong
He’d always been too worried of what he might say or do
It was when it was impossible they learned each other true

©Miss Pickwickian

I have several versions of this one and I haven't even tried to deal with correcting all the stresses yet. :-P The original version was all "his" and "hims", which sounds better then "that man" but makes it confusing when there are two guys involved.

I showed it to three different people and all three thought it meant entirely different things. All of them made sense when I went back and read through it. It was kind of cool that way, but I really wanted to get my point across too.

I tweaked a few lines to make it more clear. I think it sacrificed some of what I liked about it, but understandable is always good. :-)

So, if you still didn't understand, let me know. My basic idea was this dude knows this girl (no romantic sort of relationship at all) and then this other guy comes out of nowhere and gets friendly with the gal. The dude (that's the dude that grew up with her) is uneasy about it, but okay.
They are both finally relaxed enough to act normal around eachother. (No need to be nervous to somebody who you know is probably going to marry someone else.) The guy turns out to be a mild jerk and it doesn't work out with the gal. Through seeing the gal get hurt and mature the dude finds out he really does care (and could let himself care even more) about the gal.

I wanted the last line to be "It was when it was impossible they learned to see each other true", but I couldn't get it to line up correctly. We'll see if I can make that clearer in the finished version or not.

Hope any of that made sense.

Moving on....

Chose Love

Fell head first into love
Far too giddy to see my way
Lost myself in emotion

Never thought of love
You chose love for me
Love that could set free

Never stopped to reflect
Ran in my own fantasy world
Out of our own control

Never thought of love
You chose love for me
Love that could set free

Did not know it back then
Where you fall you must climb back up
You came to pull me out

Never thought of love
You chose love for me
Love that could set free

Wasn’t looking for you
Caught up in this life’s own drama
You just pulled me away

Never thought of love
You chose love for me
Love that could set free

©Miss Pickwickian

I worked a lot with the stresses on this song, but I still don't think they are all correct. It doesn't flow as nicely as a poem, but I think it could make an okay song.

I like to think of love as a choice, since a lot of love should be action which we choose to do (we choose our thoughts too, but you know). Anyways, I was thinking about the way we use "falling in love" and I was just thinking....well buck up and climb back out!
So yeah...

I know this song is mildly similar to the other, but that is why they are posted together. I also thought this one could be about our relationship with Christ. We "fall in love" with sin and he pulls us up. He chooses to love us. He chose to die for us.

I thought of the chorus this way too.

"Never thought of love
You chose love for me
Love that could set free"

We can never think of love, real love, without Christ. It is binding, but like serving Christ, it makes us truly free!

Hope you enjoyed them. Comment. :-)
Thanks for reading,
Miss Pickwickian

5 comments:

Johanna said...

Awesome, Bef! I love both of them.
I totally got the first one, too. :-)

On the second one, I think it makes more sense if you change:

"climb back up"

to "climb back out."

Since you "fall" into love, you have climb "out" not "up."
I think...? I dunno. Just makes it a little clearer to me.

Miss Pickwickian said...

Thank you for your comment. You are awesome. :-)

I agree with you. You are talking about this verse right?

"Did not know it back then
Where you fall you must climb back up
You came to pull me out"

I originally had the out and up switched around, but it didn't sound that nice either. I think I need another word like up that isn't up so I don't have it twice in a row. :-)

Thanks again for your comments. :-)
Miss Pickwickian

Ben said...

absolutely

Anonymous said...

After skimming through the second one it made me think of our relationship with Jesus and how He CAN set us free
~Timothy

Miss Pickwickian said...

I'm glad it's sending the message I wanted it too. :-) It is really only Christ's love that is perfect.