Pessimistic Prayer?

If this post seems to ramble into smoggy introspection, stop and imagine me hitting my head against a crumbling brick wall. Perhaps you may hit your head against your desk a few times to get in the spirit... Here goes.

I am a naturally gifted pessimist.

I'm beginning to think that writing is an outlet for my imagination which dutifully produces horrifying calamities. It could also play into the majority of my characters dying...

The last couple years I've been convicted about prayer. It's still a battleground I am trying to indulge in night and day. I have to say that sometimes it sounds like the least appealing thing to do, but like most things God commands, it is also a unfathomable blessing...and rather addicting. God is merciful to make our erratic, painful, stutters morph into joyous habits.

Recently I have woken up to a disturbing personal trend. I am properly horrified. I continue to be shocked at my shock at God's direct answers to prayers. Right then, right there. He'll even rub my face in it when I trudge along staring at the mud. 

God's answers to prayers are often rather roundabout (thankfully there not what I might call down). Sometimes the answer simply is “no” and often “patience”, but sometimes God really does delight to answer them right there...right in my face.

At the beginning of the year I like to take a few days to obsess over generally unrealistic goals and plans. This year my Mumsie handed me a newly discovered sheet of paper with a host of open-ended questions. I attacked it with pleasure, compiling lists of things to do, skills to cultivate, and relationships to work on. I neatly skipped the first question, but since then I've come back several times. I am puzzled over my inability to answer a simple question.

What is the most humanly impossible thing you will ask God to do this year? 

It remains unanswered. A large white space...seemingly raising its eyebrow and staring critically into my soul. ;-)
Why do I have such a hard time with this question? I mean, there's plenty of things I want God to do that are impossible. That's not the the issue... Or is it? Maybe we should define “impossible.” And maybe I should ponder what kind of relationship such a word has with my all powerful God...

When the rather slow moving side of my head wakes up and says “Maybe I should be praying about this instead of waving my arms and shouting”, I should, can, and do stop and pray. But with twisted, cynical satisfaction, I continue to plan for the worst possible circumstances. I do not look for God's answer. What's with this? Don't I believe my Father overflows with steadfast love? Don't I believe my Savior conquered “impossible”? Don't I realize I have been given the the already inconceivable gift of prayer to bring thanksgiving and struggles to Him?

What kind of prayer am I praying?

It certainly doesn't seem to be the kind watching with bated breath for the moment God will move Mount Fuji. It might just take a volcano to get my attention.

This might just play into my pigheaded inability to "dream big".

It's scary to think the impossible is possible. 

It's considerably easier to plan for mud when it's raining. But it doesn't mean there's a year of mudfest ahead. It might mean tomorrow is spring. If you insist on tromping about in rubber boots, you're going to miss free bare toes in the grass, the dirt, the gravel. If you carry an umbrella to protect you from the rain in your head, you're going to miss the sun altogether.

But I digress...

Maybe I should stop and pray about this...
To my God who is beyond my understanding. Who has had every moment planned out for me...not done in for me. 

Various Notions about 2012

A whole new year. While...at least most of one. Can it possibly be February?

I guess there are many unknowns to every year...well, every moment. So this post is simple ideas from someone who has no idea what song will pop up next on Pandora, let alone what her 2012 is going to be written like.

Last year I would not have dreamed of crawling into nine different airplanes and spending one weekend at home all summer. I'm not sure I would have ever planned such a thing, but I'm glad for every day of travel and busyness that made up 2011.

Once upon a time I believed I'd rather die than tutor...this year I started teaching and shocked myself for enjoying that too.

You get the idea... Life is strange.

This year should be tamer in one respect. You can't afford to traverse the earth every year. :-)

Anyways... This post has been in the works for weeks. The real point point is to talk about writing. Here are my writing goals for the year-

1. Finish my nonfiction book for our business. Like FINISH. And PUBLISH.

2. Complete the rough draft of Where Loyalties Lie.

3. Write a 100 page screenplay.

4. Submit at least 12 articles or pieces of poetry. Get published once.. :-)

5. Attend another multiple day writers' conference.

6. Write 24 poems.

7. Read a book a week.

8. Write letters.

9. Post on this here blog once a week.

10. Clean up a novel or short story enough to submit somewhere.

And all that, combined with the rest of this life, should keep me busy!
And, my #1 goal this year... Be willing to change my plans for the better ones God shows me through His faithfulness. Not clutch my ideas when He's got better ones. Learning this... learning this...

Now... on to regular posts again.

Thanks for reading,
Bethany

Magical Word Counts...

Been doing a lot of planning, scheduling, and goal setting these days.

I've told myself I can monologue about my WIP as soon as I'm back to 25,000 words (yes, I started over). Right now I've set a daily 1,000 word quota. Some days are more torturous than others, but it's all been worth it. Back up to 12,000.

Teaching and tutoring again for the fall. Always helps keep me with a fresh perspective.

Been writing scraps of sad looking poetry...which makes me immensely happy.

Did you see the rainbow today? Too bad something so majestic makes me think of something trivial...like little green men. Sort of like the word "magical". Hmm...

Sometimes...

the only proper form of expression is a yellow smiley...on the beach.

This post is merely to say that I am currently dancing around my room in the throws of unquenchable joy. I have a shiny new laptop...that belongs to an alternate reality. His name is Hector.

I have never once exhausted his battery and I worked nearly all day yesterday on the go. From seven minutes to over seven hours is quit the change in a writer's life. He ways nearly four pounds less then my HP (he shall remained named so as to not hurt his feelings). 

I've restarted my novel (draft fourteen) and started planning out the next year of my life. Organized and productive. This may I be.

Have a good Saturday and restful Lord's Day. I shall continue dancing. ;-)

If this was skype...there would a little ninja rocking out here for a perfect farewell.

Rambles on Love, Water, Trees, and a Paccaris

This is the year of roadtrips and this post is now horribly overdue. It's been locked in solitary confinement in my draft folder, and it now deeply desires to see the light. So here goes...

One Thursday we began our California adventure centered on Ellen's beautiful wedding in Sacramento.

My California experiences have been limited to Disney Land and several flights into San Diego for cruises. Most of it is uncharted territory.

Our first stop was at the Winston Wild Life Safari where we road camels, were attacked by an emu, fell in love with a stuffed leopard, and gawked at giraffes, bears, lions, yaks, and countless other creatively assembled critters.

We rolled into Ashland and satisfied our hunger with pizza, salad, and a Shakespeare faced cupcake. We were in town long enough to see several terrifyingly wonderful book stores and discover that Ashland is full of arty people of a very different type than Portland...Let's just leave it at that.

We only had time to see Loves Labors Lost, which I read in air conditioned tranquility on the drive down. They did well and humorously (although they explored awkwardness I was blissfully unaware of in the play...some of it primarily exhibited by a excess of men's tights and Russian dancing). They set in the 50s, which I enjoyed.

Loves Labors Lost is fairly new to me, but now it really has me thinking...what was Shakespeare trying to say? I wonder what he thought the conclusion was...judging by the name, I don't know. Another rambling post to come one of these days...

We finished the distance between Ashland and Sacramento Friday, and reunited with people from our own church. Monstrous jolly since I hadn't seen some in ages since I've been elsewhere. We invaded a sizable portion of their Best Western. We explored the gigantic mall and generally had a good time.

Saturday Ellen got married. It's still hard to believe. She was the stunning beyond comprehension and everything was beautiful and good and I wanted to weep through the whole ceremony and beyond. But I didn't of course. I was the soul of propriety. ;-)
 It is most strange to have a friend who is Ellen somebody one minute and Ellen somebody else the next. One minute single. One minute a wife. Marriage and love are most distinctly peculiar. And good, of course. :-)

Well everyone disembarked from our Best Western to enjoy Letherbys, the legendary ice cream world, I stayed back to work on a writing project, got nothing done, and went to bed ridiculously early.

It was wonderful to worship and fellowship with Church of the King on Sunday. Another reminder of the blessings we have as one body!

Sadly, we had to get back on the road and didn't have a lot of time to hang out. We stopped a couple podunk towns, and one of the million Clear Lakes of America...which was not even remotely clear, but had a beautiful dock and nearby green grass and prickles to run about in.

We arrived at a beautiful inn in another small town where we had enough time to read a bit, email important people, befuddle the vending machine, write, and watch a girly movie together before giving into sleep at a decent hour.

We got moving on Monday soon enough to visit the continental breakfast where Mama's toast took a flying leap to freedom...a noteworthy and startling event.

We spent 12 hours on the road, primarily starring at big tree. The Redwoods truly are beautiful. I think my next writing trip scheme should include running off into one of the parks and living under a dead log (preferably with internet access). I like open spaces, light, and big hills, but there is something very peaceful, quiet, and promising about a tree that's been going steadily upwards since the signing of the Magna Carta.

We stopped at one park long enough for me to climb up on a fallen log with journal, pen, and Bible and sit six feet above the dry forest bed and do some scribbling.

The Redwoods are good for thinking and they seem to be good listeners too. If you need somewhere to think some serious thoughts, find a stalwart tree-friend, carve your name, or get dizzy in record time, go to the Redwoods.

We visited a strip of California coast, but just missed the sunset and any California warmth.

Our next stop was in Bandon and late into the night after much confusion and turning about, a restaurant with salmon that was indeed food of the gods. We ran wild on the beach for the morning and then visited another miraculous wildlife safari where we got to cuddle with eight week old Bengal tigers, an eleven week old leopard, be thoroughly disturbed by various monkeys, stare into the jaws of a yawning lion, and fall in love with the simple attraction of noteworthy pig, apparently called a Paccari.

Going back to Bandon and ridding horses on the coast is a future must.

We drove all the way back to my brother-in-law and sister's house that night and stayed up way to late talking and staring at the stars on their deck.

After a week that involves much more car travel then generally considered appropriate, it was good to be home. An awesome adventure that now seems like a few years ago. It's been a crazy, glorious summer.

Life is good. Even with all its so very not good moments.

The end.

Back from a Week at the Beach...

Is it true you see me in this field tonight?

Is it true that you sent me to this fight?

Break me on the mountain,

Just don’t trap me in the valley.

Is this how you lead me in sun and in rain?

Is this how you feed me when I’m in pain?

Shatter me on the rocks,

Just don’t wash me out to the sea.

Is this what you meant by the nails and the cross?
Is this what you meant by living as lost?

Leave me in the desert,

Just send me heavy rain.

Is this what you planned in the void before time?

Is this why you made me too weak to climb?

Corrode me in the wind,

Just let me fly away again.

Placid Happiness or Active Contentment?

I believe I have sometimes fancied Christianity the key to placid happiness. A level playing field. The answer to a mature, academic levelheadedness.

Instead I wonder if it does not create a more ferocious sorrow as well as a more violent, untamed joy. We are no more numb to occasional dark despair than we are free from spontaneous song. Rather than drugging the senses, Christianity redefines them.

Faith, by nature, cannot be indifferent. It is incapable of being a state of neutrality. It is, rather, the wild, unexplained mystery of contentment. Emotions not dead, but vibrantly recreated. Passion is no longer dull, but deep with the colors from beyond our cosmos and imagination. Bound by freedom in a quiet, confident trust in the Creator. If we can breath through real tears and real laughter, it is through the power of faith. Placid happiness is breakable, and worse, stagnant. When covered by contentment, faith's sorrow and joy are as deep as the Cross and as strange as the Resurrection.

Useless ramble from Starbucks...

I look through red, sheer curtains,

That flutter in thunderstorms.

Sharp lightening shows the dancers.

A world that can love and hate.

I can not feel the downpour.

Only thunder rocks my bed.

I ignore the white coat say

“Tomorrow is a new day.”

He’s a dancer. He can’t know.

Tomorrow is my today.

I can only watch my window.

A lens weak or maybe strong.

Where’s the electricity?

Please let me be burned and bruised

You don’t have to understand.

Just wheel me into the rain.

Give your hand and let me stand.

It’s a thought I need to heal.

I am estranged by a fog.

There is no fog with thunder.

The dancers forget their music.

Mine is clear and strong. Let go.

I will dance away the fog.

Perhaps dancers stumble too.

Lost in a Mountain of Books

Strahov Theological Hall - Original Baroque Cabinet
(What my room does not look like.)

I've been a bit more erratic than usual, so here's a variety of excuses.

A long time ago I made a pact with myself that I would review in some manner every book I read. This accomplishes several things.
1) I'm forced to think about what I've read and come to some sort of conclusion.
2) I don't waste my time on books I don't think are worth reviewing.
3) I have a good catalog of my book list, changing taste, and hopefully maturing opinions.
4) I get to bore all my blog readers to death.

Life has made reviews difficult lately, so I have a monstrous stack lined behind my computer waiting for review. The following days (perhaps weeks) will include some tedious bookishness, but I also want to talk about seeing Les Miserables (swoon), various Shakespeare plays, multiple movies, and something squibish on our trip to California.

Because of business with other writing projects, don't hold your breath for any original posts (not that you would). I'm going to try and post twice a week...possibly more or less depending on what I've been reading or watching lately.

So if there is a flurry of activity and it all seems a bit dull it's because I'm trying to fulfill my pact and keep up with myself. I've had doubts about continuing this blog. Its continued existence hinges on the personal benefit I get from having to think through things like book reviews.

Yesterday I decided to reorganize the various shelves of books that dominate our room. Volumes from Borders' sales were still sitting around homeless. Carrying around stacks of books made me giddy and I reached for a pen and paper to create a current book list. I finished with 150 titles. Yeah...there might be a lot of book reviews in the future.

Somehow, no matter how I arrange my books...by author, subject, title, height, or color, there's still not enough shelves.

Other recent activities include reorganizing my life and priorities, involving a great deal of painful decisions. making lengthy lists, schedules, and a shiny new budget. How am I possibly going to fit in all those books? I have a book to get to the publisher! And when is my story going to get done anyway? And the Romeo/Juliet/Hamlet screenplay is sad and lonely, scrawled in a chiastic structure in the closet.

In some ways it feels like summer hasn't begun, but so much has happened since winter it can't possibly be anything but the end of summer. Next week is September. Take a deep breath. Life will go on...

Random thoughts from Idaho

I spent several hot days in Boise and Moscow this month. I was very blessed to be able to attend a friend's beautiful wedding and visit people I haven't seen in half a decade.

Most of the time I felt like I had the IQ and social graces of a delinquent moose, but God knew I needed the break from normal life.

And because lists are so handy and random...here's just a few highlights.

-The wedding.
It is always magical (not in the fairy-dust sense, but in the gut wrenching, awe-inspiring way) to watch two committed people who have waited, worked, and listened to council, finally stand in front of a body of believers and declare their love to each other. Suddenly your friend is a Mrs. Somebody. It's crazy.
God is good...and love is both beautiful and terrifying.

-People.
I got to see dear friends and old acquaintances. I got to meet lots of new people. Generally I had an awesome time with good conversation, arguments, and brainstorming with funny, wonderful, intelligent people. :-)

-I spent a large part of my time writing on my current project...which isn't going so well...fyi. Writing and reading in various coffee shops was a sweet break. I spent a few days living in Bucer's. I shall miss it.

-Stargazing late at night after tromping through a damp golf course. I saw three shootings stars and managed to close my eyes at just the perfect time to miss the other dozen. Froze to death and had an amazing time.

-Singing.
Singing in Friendship Square, singing in a resthome, singing on the street, singing in church. All good.

-The moon.
Saturday night, there was the most glorious moon creating stunning lighting with dark clouds. I could have stared at it all night, but Benjamin and Susannah were there to talk me into being rational.

-Play structures.
Personally I love swings and all play structures no matter how small. Unfortunately, no one would brave them with me...Susannah...Bobbi Jo. Hem hem...

-Saturday picnic with a mob of NSA types. Awesome opportunity for conversation and people watching.

-My brother and sister came Saturday and we had a wonderful time bashing about and laughing continuously around Moscow. We had a delicious dinner in Bucer's and then watched a movie in the park on Benjamin's laptop. I have a pretty awesome family. The end.

-Picnic Sunday afternoon at the Arboretum with some wonderful ladies...and Benjamin, of course.

-The drive home. My tummy muscles are still aching from our laugh-a-thon.

-Everything and everyone else. Basically, it was awesome. :-)

It's good to be home and see the rest of my family...to be back in Oregon where there is moisture in the air and the weather stays reasonable.

Whenever you leave, you get a perspective coming back. Here are a few things I noticed--

-Portland is green. No...really... As soon as you see signs heading towards Portland you go from brown to green with some other bright colors mixed in.

-I need more book shelves.
This is my conclusion nearly every day, but especially after coming home from anywhere...and especially after visiting a few too many book stores.

-Our water tastes the best. Not open for debate, simply true.

-My room is mild wreckage. I need to throw out a quarter of it and reorganize the rest.

-My whole life needs some reorganizing. What am I trying to get done anyways? Why do I like so many different things? What's important? How am I actually going to get anything accomplished?

-I am truly allergic to animals. How inconvenient.

-Bumpiness don't go away when you leave and come back, but you do get new perspective. Time to jump back into reorganizing my room, life, and relationships.

Despite the fact that sometimes I just really didn't think God had done His planning right, I know that He did. Seeing friends again, getting my mind cleared out and refreshed, working away from home, and coming back to beautiful, green Oregon with all these people I love is just the thing I needed.

I'll need to go back and visit some amazing people in Idaho again soon. :-) That's the problem with going anywhere...then you have more people to miss. Thank you so much, all of you who made my stay awesome. I am very grateful for the past two weeks

The end.

Some Days...

I think I forgot how to write a coherent sentence.

This is awkward.

I am going to Poland.

On June 27th. It's so close, I can't believe it.
You've probably heard me talk about it in passing, but it's time for a full fledged post.

Everyone! I AM GOING TO POLAND!

It is a two week mission trip with other members of our church and other CREC churches in late June-early July. We're traveling as a choir of sorts...singing on the street and in a more formal concert stetting in the evening.

Poland is 90% Roman Catholic. It's not the sort of Roman Catholic you probably are thinking of. There really are indulgences posted on churches. Poland needs the Gospel. We'll be working along side pastors and churches our church has been involved with before.

We need lots of prayer and encouragement. Please help us by praying that God would open doors and give us the right words to speak.

You can learn more about the trip at Reformation for Poland and Evangelos. We'd greatly appreciate it if you can help tell others about our mission by word of mouth or by posting links on your blog/facebook. We want a lot of people praying and we want to alert others to the need in Poland.



<a href="http://polandmission2011.blogspot.com/"><img src="http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd15/riversong14/ReformationforPoland.jpg" /></a>

There is so much to think about and accomplish.

-My book is oppressively looking over my shoulder, daring me to open the file and bash it into submission with the million and one edits it requires. That's my biggest deadline horror.
Besides the fact that it needs lots and lots of help internally, I still don't have a title or cover design.

-Many select sheep need to be managed and ready to sell. Lambs are ready to be separated etc...

-My room is still in the middle of reorganization.

-I need to get past the fact that the new episodes of  Sherlock aren't coming out until fall. Cwy.

-I need to work and make some money. :-/

-Practice our music and work on our Bible. I just need to learn a lot in general. I so do not feel ready for this!


Blogging may be touch and go for awhile, while I focus on other duties. If you're interested in what's going on for our trip, please visit Reformation for Poland (which I will hopefully be updating regularly) and Evangelos (which should have some epic pictures and videos).

Thanks for reading,
Miss Pickwickian

Emphasis and Interest

My most visited page is One Fish - Dr. Seuss.

I think my blog is a failure. :-P

Thoughts on "Thor"

I know I'm behind the times, but I only just recently got to see Thor (first movie in 3D). The following are random thoughts, not a well-thought-out movie review... Proceed with caution. ;-)

I really had no inclination to see Thor until I heard that it was another Kenneth Branagh/Patrick Doyle director/soundtrack team.

My original indifference was mostly because I'm not a huge superhero/Marvel fan and for some reason it just really seemed like Chris Hemsworth should be Sean Bean...and he wasn't. (Don't try to make sense of that one.)

I walked into the theater with a lot of recommendations but not much idea of who as acting or what the story was all about.

It was a good movie.

Thor was a refreshing character...far from perfect but not blatantly retarded (not the typical "bad boy"). I thought Hemsworth acted wonderfully. Thor was a sympathetic, changing, and mildly complex character who acted realistically (even with the god-factor in there). He turned into a true hero...the best produced by hollywood in a long time.

By the end of the movie, I forgave him for not being Sean Bean, but that was about as far as it got.

Anthony Hopkins was superb (duh). His character (the king) kept much of the movie from becoming cliche.

The whole cast is very typical of a Kenneth Branagh film and meshes together beautifully.

There were moments of goofiness, predictability, or complete unbelievability, but over all, the movie was a fun and clean 114 minutes.

If you know me...you might know what is coming next...

Depending on how you look at it, plot spoilers may lie ahead. Also...let me just say that Tom Hiddleston looks a lot different with straight, black hair.

From the first moment you see Loki you know that they are going to make him have all of these unresolved issues and that he's going to turn against Thor. He's the good boy who will turn bad, while the bad boy will turn good. I was literally hoping beyond hope that they would have just let him be an amazing brother and son. I loved him from the beginning and I knew they would do this to him. Come on. It's so overused.

He could have been amazing.

I want to see a movie where there is simply a supporting character like Loki could have been. I want to see a movie where the child can truly accept the fact that his parents love him for who he is, no matter where he came from. I want to see a movie where a guy can be from the enemy race and still be a good guy.

There were just so many things about the whole situation that I didn't like. It really put a damper on the movie.

Please don't sacrifice a potentially awesome character just to come up with a plot element. There are other more original options.

And of course he's not dead. Who dies in these type of movies?

I know it's all based of a comic book and I'm going to refrain from blaming people like Kenneth Branagh, but it makes me want to rewrite the story.

Having said all that, I did think it was the best superhero movie to perhaps ever come out (maybe not my favorite, but the best).

They did a great job keeping it interesting, crazy, and clean. Thor was very much the lion and Loki was very much the serpent, but at the same time the characters were more morally complex. It had an interesting focus on the purpose and place of war and actions of individual characters.

At first I thought they were going to do a lot with the whole "god" thing, but they actually go out of their way to explain him as not being a god at all (although he still is the god of thunder...not sure how that works). Certainly the most unobjectionable movie of its type.

Really enjoyed it. I'll just have to make up an alternate reality for the whole Loki aspect.

Visit my sister's blog to see her take.

I would enjoy hearing your thoughts.

Thanks for reading,
Miss Pickwickian

Random Updates and House Cleaning

Giveaway

Even the Darkest Night by Zavalick Designs on Etsy was won by Cassie! Congratulations!

Thank you so much Zavalick Designs for hosting this awesome giveaway and thank you to all who entered. Cassie, email me so we can get this shipped out to you!

Contest

You all have until 4pm to send in your essays for the contest! Email me at pickwickian.forever(at)gmail(dot)com.

Last Week

-My younger sister graduated and my older brother got engaged! Crazy, awesome week.

-I have until June 10th to finish my book. Insanity!

-After June 12th, I will be taking a more relaxed view of blogging for a month while I have a blast at our Church camp and spend two weeks in Poland. Right now I'm struggling to keep posts interesting, timely, and lively. After I return full force in July, I want to give the Erratic Muse some rethinking and possible reorganizing.

-I'm terribly excited about Les Miserables week and I hope I can come up with some intelligent posts. With last week, I had no time to prepare and this morning I woke up at 3am with the flu...again. Unpleasant surprise.

-I'm currently trying to work on/help with some other blog projects including our farm blog and a blog with info about our Poland trip. I'll be posting more about that soon.

Thanks for reading,
Miss Pickwickian

Various things that have been occupying my brain and time...

Life is busy...

Here's a list of items I want to get to on this poor blog but I'm not. Sometime... When life slows down. ;-)

Book Reviews

-Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ by John Piper

-The Cross Centered Life by C. J. Maheney
-Prayerbook of the Bible by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

-Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy by Eric Metaxas

-Reformed is Not Enough by Douglas Wilson

-Her Hand in Marriage by Douglas Wilson

-Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot

Movie Reviews

-Red Cliff 2008

-Agent of Grace 2000

-Megamind 2010

-Numerous others, but that's all I've watched recently.

Art

-My sister is seriously getting good on portraits and other artwork. For my birthday she pen and inked and watercolored a beautiful picture from Howl's Moving Castle and Les Miz. She's now in the middle of a portrait of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. :-)

-Mumsie drew me an awesome portrait of Claus von Stauffenberg (not Tom Cruise...the real guy).

-My art is still in the cartoon stage. ;-) But I do want to work on another "picture book".

Music

-An unhealthy addiction to the Howl's Moving Castle soundtrack.

-Some awesome hymns and Psalms we've been singing recently. Most notably, Mark Regan's arrangement of Rock of Ages. Love.

-My current interest in music from India.

-Ten minutes when I can write something songish in the midst of unquenchable inspiration.

Various other things.

-I have listened to some seriously good sermons recently. I would love to think through some of my notes!

-I am leaving for Poland in two months for a two week long missions trip! I can't believe it is this close.

-I am traveling a lot this year. Happy, sad, and excited. Get back to you on that...

-I have a looming and insane deadline on my nonfiction book that is totally stressing me out.

-I am a bad nonfiction writer.

-Romeo and Juliet meets Hamlet needs some work... And I'd love to ramble on about it.

-I have not opened Where Loyalties Lie in all of 2011.

-Les Miserables week seriously needs some planning! At least a blog button.

-I have four giveaways ready and planned... Now for posting and pictures.

Thanks for reading,
Miss Pickwickian

I hope growing up is a lifetime assignment...

I have been beyond the teenage years for three days and I still feel hopelessly slow-witted and immature.

Wasn't there supposed to be some magic positive advancement in my knowledge and conduct?

Seriously...I didn't expect it, but it would have been welcome. :-)

I'm not sure if I ever thought about who I would be at 20. If I had I would have hoped to be a much better Christian in my role as a daughter, sister, friend, witness, writer, and in every action I did. I also probably would have seen myself as published... All because once upon a time 20 seemed so old!

It's not.

And I'm thankful that it's not the deadline for change and growing up.

I still need a lot more time.

God is good...always.

He has all the threads of my life under control and He is there helping and teaching me to grow up. That's going to mean things I don't like, but I want to learn to love them, because they are from Him.

Thank you for reading,
Miss Pickwickian

My Fail

The last week I have been sick, writing, neglecting this blog, and very uncreative feeling.

I got 14,000 words down on a non-fiction project. This project has a big deadline at the end of this week, and so the pressure and insanity are escalating. I will not go into my feelings on the manuscript because they would not be edifying. Instead we'll move on...

I have come to a realization that my biggest failure is almost continually in organization. This does not mean I'm a particularly unorganized person. My desk and bookshelves are extremely organized. It's more like a mental organization failure.

First off, I love way to many things...and when I love something I want to learn all about it and improve my own skills in the area. This is all well and good if you only like a few things, but when you have to obsess over everything related to everything, it get's pathetic. You end up being mildly mediocre at an impressive amount of oddities.

For example- I love words.

This means that I have to read inordinate amounts of fiction, history, poetry, letters, song lyrics, literary fiction, classics, screenplays, stage-plays, theology, teaching, etc, etc...

Oh yes, and it means I have to write about all those things too.

No worky.

Especially if you have forty sheep, work in a home business, obsess over music, help clean and organize a house, try to cultivate friendships, have a big family, adore all forms of art, and simply can't remember anything because you love to much stuff!

I can write in a day. But I haven't figured out how to write, clean the house, and get hay delivered in a day. I can spend time with friends in a day, but I haven't figured out how to spend time with friends, read a book, and work at home in a day.

My pathetic mental juggling abilities are most evident when I sit down to write. I have a two page squib on identity and I can't figure out where to start unless it's with a five-hundred page introduction on systematic theology.

I like to know stuff and learn more about it, but I haven't quite mastered getting it in order in my head.

I want think so things make sense.

Instead I try to organize something and I can't figure out how I can mention it without talking about every single thing it relates to.

I'm a big picture person without a good telescope.

This is why I love reading authors who can handle this properly! C.S. Lewis, Elisabeth Elliot, Doug Wilson, and so many other writers give me such a good example of clear thinking. They make clear thinking and arguing so obvious.

So, my new campaign is learning how to think and present ideas that make sense!

And part of that is going to be cutting and hacking at my interests and schedule so I can make the most important things get done and get done well.

Wow...Thanks for reading that unclear ramble.

Tomorrow I'll try to share some of my Script Frenzy idea, if that's any consolation.

Thanks for reading,
Miss Pickwickian

Becoming Familiar with Les Miserables

Les Miserables is for everyone. As far as musicals go, it is in a class of it's own. There is no way to explain it....except that Les Miz is a beautiful, beautiful story that includes sadness, but is ultimately a story about deep characters and good news.

"There is a flame that never dies."
Bracelet by Foxwise

One of the multiple prizes for the essay contest.

Les Miserables week is approaching and I hope some of you are working on your essays for the contest. :-)

If you aren't a Les Miz fan yet, you still have time. :-) Here are a few ways to learn about the story--

Victor Hugo's unabridged book is obviously the best way to go. :-) This is a serious time investment, but Hugo is an intriguing writer even when he's telling you about the history of the sewers of Paris for 40 pages.

If you start the book and find yourself getting lost...or if you're not ready for the time commitment...check out one of the below--

Focus on the Family has a very good dramatized audio adaption. It gives the wonderful overall flavor of the book and the central themes. It is washed over to be a little more family friendly...which does make it loose some of the actual power of the story for Fantine. Otherwise it is much truer to the book than movie versions. Brian Blessed does a wonderful job as Jean Valjean.

I think it's about $10. You can see it here on Amazon.

Liam Neeson and Geoffery Rush create interesting characters in the 1998 movie production, but, as far as I can see, the movie totally misses the central themes of the book. There are a few amazing moments, but they just don't follow-through. It's a good movie, but doesn't really give the truth about Victor Hugo's story.

I've seen older movie versions as well. Some followed the book a bit better, but for some reason Jean Valjean always has to hit Javert to get away which really bothers me.

The 10th Anniversary Dream Cast is my favorite musical recording and movie performance. However, it is abridged...so if your not familiar with the story you will have to fill in the gaps.

The 25th Anniversary Musical movie performance is probably the easiest to acquire. It's currently in most Redboxes and in Netflix. This is the unabridged musical and includes more acting than the 10th. It's very good, but at least Jean Valjean and Marius are far superior in the 10th Anniversary edition. (That may just be personal opinion...)

There are of course other very good musical recordings as well, but if you are unfamiliar with the story it's best to see who's singing to sort things out.

Wikipedia on the book here.

Wikipedia on the musical here.

Another avenue is to accost a Les Miz fan and asks them why it's so cool. Most of us are pretty eager to jump up and down and scream :-)

Let me know if you have other suggestions or questions.

Thanks for reading,
Miss Pickwickian

The past two weeks...

I know I've been mildly distracted...but being distracted with life is hardly reprehensible. ;-)

The day after we returned from Mexico two friends from Pennsylvania came to stay with us for two weeks. We had an awesome time. I certainly have a lot to catch up on and plenty of new post ideas. Bear with me in the backlog.

This post is simply a two week review of some of the awesome things we got to do and a preview of more detailed posts to come.

-Reread As You Like It, Much Ado about Nothing, Macbeth, and half of Hamlet (we'll finish that on Skype.)

Reading Shakespeare aloud is considerably more fun than reading it to yourself. Aisha also contributes a great amount of flair and drama. ;-)

-Re-watched Kenneth Branagh's Much Ado and As You Like It. Laughed outrageously.

-Reread portions of Leithart's Brightest Heaven of Invention. Wished Leithart would write about Romeo and Juliet and As You Like It.

-Jumped on the trampoline numerous times with numerous experiences. Looked at stars. Sat on ice. Jumped in the rain. Read Shakespeare. Quoted Shakespeare. Sang Les Miz. Recited the Jabberwocky. Ate animal crackers. Laughed continuously...etc.

-Watched The 10th Anniversary Dream Cast Les Miserables for the fifth time. Loved it to death...again.

-Fell in love with Lamentations

-Visited Barnes and Nobles. Visited Eric Metaxas' biography on Bonhoeffer. Sniffed books. Received a perfect, beauteous new journal from Aisha. (Pictures to come. ;-)

-Visited Exodus Books twice. Sniffed books. Bought books. Loved books. Nearly died of happiness.

-Visited Powell's downtown. Sniffed books. Bought books. Experienced euphoria.

-Tried to find more room on bookshelves for books. Experienced failure.

-Ordered a new phone. Almost got a Droid for free, but didn't have enough money for the data plan. Prepared myself emotionally to put Julius in retirement. I wonder what the name of my new phone shall be.

-Had half of my sheep lamb. Experienced my first prolapsed ewe in twelve years. At this moment all of us are still alive. Never want to see that again.

-Spent two days in Portland. Walked along the waterfront in the wind. Spent time in the library. Confirmed that I still love downtown.

-Saw GFU rendition of Doubt.

-Sang David Erb's Psalm 134 without interruption. ;-)

-Sat in the fourth row in the Arlene Schnitzer Hall and watched Max McLean's rendition of Screwtape. Amazing.

-Ate tuna salad. The best imaginable tuna salad in the world. Aisha is amazing.

-Quoted Shakespeare continuously.

-Mixed Shakespeare quotes with Alice in Wonderland, Nacho Libre, and The Scarlet Pimpernel. Laughed until I could laugh no more.

-Fell in love with a new song version of Psalm 43 set to BLAENHAFHEN.

"God you are my overflowing joy!" I want this to be true...always..

-Walked to the top of Saddleback twice. Enjoyed the beautiful view, the mountains, and talking with Aisha.

-Accosted Suzy and jigged wildly to I Could Have Danced all Night in the kitchen.

-Drank voluminous amounts of tea in my awesome new black and white mug! Thanks Aisha. You're so sweet. :-)

-Walked to one of my favorite places in Oregon City--the old library. There is a playground. And swings! Happiness. :-)

-Visited the Cheesecake Factory.

-Went on a invigorating walk with numerous persons including my two oldest nieces. (Includes--running, spinning, neighing, galloping, laughing, and language interpretation.)

-Experienced Dyslexia. ;-)

-Had a fancy Israeli dinner with most of the family. Happiness. :-)

-Successfully scared Suzy to death with Aisha's added screams.

-Was reaffirmed in this conclusion:

God is truly our only hope. He is tireless and we are not. Moderation in all things does not mean moderation in our walk with Christ.

I am a hopeless sinner, but God is hope.

I will praise Him!

Thanks for reading,

Miss Pickwickian