Tuesday, April 5, 2011

My Fail

The last week I have been sick, writing, neglecting this blog, and very uncreative feeling.

I got 14,000 words down on a non-fiction project. This project has a big deadline at the end of this week, and so the pressure and insanity are escalating. I will not go into my feelings on the manuscript because they would not be edifying. Instead we'll move on...

I have come to a realization that my biggest failure is almost continually in organization. This does not mean I'm a particularly unorganized person. My desk and bookshelves are extremely organized. It's more like a mental organization failure.

First off, I love way to many things...and when I love something I want to learn all about it and improve my own skills in the area. This is all well and good if you only like a few things, but when you have to obsess over everything related to everything, it get's pathetic. You end up being mildly mediocre at an impressive amount of oddities.

For example- I love words.
This means that I have to read inordinate amounts of fiction, history, poetry, letters, song lyrics, literary fiction, classics, screenplays, stage-plays, theology, teaching, etc, etc...
Oh yes, and it means I have to write about all those things too.

No worky.

Especially if you have forty sheep, work in a home business, obsess over music, help clean and organize a house, try to cultivate friendships, have a big family, adore all forms of art, and simply can't remember anything because you love to much stuff!

I can write in a day. But I haven't figured out how to write, clean the house, and get hay delivered in a day. I can spend time with friends in a day, but I haven't figured out how to spend time with friends, read a book, and work at home in a day.

My pathetic mental juggling abilities are most evident when I sit down to write. I have a two page squib on identity and I can't figure out where to start unless it's with a five-hundred page introduction on systematic theology.

I like to know stuff and learn more about it, but I haven't quite mastered getting it in order in my head.

I want think so things make sense.
Instead I try to organize something and I can't figure out how I can mention it without talking about every single thing it relates to.
I'm a big picture person without a good telescope.

This is why I love reading authors who can handle this properly! C.S. Lewis, Elisabeth Elliot, Doug Wilson, and so many other writers give me such a good example of clear thinking. They make clear thinking and arguing so obvious.

So, my new campaign is learning how to think and present ideas that make sense!

And part of that is going to be cutting and hacking at my interests and schedule so I can make the most important things get done and get done well.

Wow...Thanks for reading that unclear ramble.
Tomorrow I'll try to share some of my Script Frenzy idea, if that's any consolation.

Thanks for reading,
Miss Pickwickian


Ashley said...

Don't worry, I know how you feel. I'm no good with time management, so I don't always find the time to do everything I want and need to do.

Jubilant Wife said...

Lists! Lists! Lists! Prioritize! And then... look at the list. It doesn't do you much good if you leave it on the floor where it fell earlier that morning.

Storyfingers said...

"I love words."

That was really all I needed to read. An ever-ready alert system worked overtime so hard it almost blew up in my head. I've discovered that the only times I really enjoy talking are when I can select the perfect word to deliver the perfect meaning. I like to "get the point across, yes, but more than that. I like to package it in my own particular style and hand it over with a fourish."

"No worky."

I'm guessing - no - believing that you and I are quite alike.

Edith F. said...

My goodness, I felt like I was reading about myself. I have fairly often worked myself into agonies debating about what I do and don't have time for, because I find it so hard to drop anything current or not add anything new. Thank you for showing me I'm not alone in my excessive interest in everything...

Cheers from a fellow writer,

Hannah said...

Well all I can say is I definitely identify.... :)

Best of luck to you!
I'm off to keep trying to organize my mind too. ;)